How Much Can We Truly Understand Another Person? — Reflections from 68 Years of Life October 31, 2026 (Saturday) Reiwa 8 — Day 6 After Discharge

When Do We Experience Shock?

Over the 68 years of my life, I have experienced many difficult things, including illness and injury.

When I developed facial paralysis during pregnancy at the age of 29, I was told after giving birth that it was “too late.” I had believed it would recover. I wondered what would happen to my face, whether I could return to work, and whether I could raise my child. When I began to think about the life ahead of me, I felt a deep sense of despair for the first time.

I also experienced anxiety when I had stomach cancer and underwent vocal cord surgery. However, I responded to those experiences differently from how I have responded to my recent fracture.

Perhaps people do not experience shock only at the moment something happens. Sometimes the real impact comes when we understand what that event means for our lives and realize that we must find a way to live from that point onward.

My recent fracture was difficult for reasons beyond the surgery and pain.

I continued rehabilitation, gradually regained movement, and returned to everyday life after being discharged. I can do more things now, yet limitations remain in my shoulder and fingers.

When I came across words such as “disability” and “prospects for recovery” in documents from my insurance company, I began to think seriously about what might happen to my body in the future.

Perhaps I will never return to my former condition.

When I considered that possibility, I felt emotionally stuck.

The Suffering That Others Cannot See

People around me see how much I have recovered and say, “I’m glad you’re doing better.”

That is natural, and I appreciate their kindness.

But the recovery that others can see is not necessarily the same as the recovery I experience myself.

Even as I become able to do more, pain and difficulty with movement remain. There are still things I cannot do as I once did, yet these limitations are not always visible to others.

Some difficulties can only truly be known by the person experiencing them.

And no matter how much someone cares or worries about us, they cannot feel our pain in our place or live in our body for us.

I think this is true for everyone.

Can We Truly Understand Another Person?

Even family members who have lived together for many years cannot completely understand each other’s inner worlds.

The other person has their own world, and I have mine.

When I think about it this way, completely understanding someone else—or being completely understood by someone else—seems difficult.

I do not believe that deep involvement is the only way to have meaningful relationships.

There can be people with whom we exchange greetings, companions with whom we enjoy our hobbies, and pleasant interactions in everyday life. We do not have to go beyond that to maintain a comfortable distance from one another.

Perhaps we can live alongside others without trying to understand them completely or expecting them to understand us completely.

That, too, may be one way of living together as human beings.

Lives That Cannot Be Compared

Of course, there are people who have experienced illnesses far more painful than mine. There are also people who have died at a young age. Life can bring hardships that are beyond comparison.

When I think about that, my own experiences may seem insignificant.

But I do not think I need to diminish my feelings by comparing the magnitude of my suffering with that of others.

Every life has its own circumstances and its own hardships that only the person living it can fully know.

What I feel now is simply a perspective that has emerged from my own experiences.

I do not claim that it is the correct answer about human nature.

But after 68 years of life, having experienced illness and injury and reflected on my relationships with others, this is how I see things.

Perhaps we can never understand one another completely.

Even so, we may be able to live together by accepting our differences, respecting each other’s lives, and not intruding where we are not invited.

Through this recent fracture, I find myself reflecting once again on how I want to live.

#ReflectionsOnLife #LifeAt68 #LivingWithIllness #HumanRelationships #LivingOnMyOwnTerms #LifeAfterDischarge