Why Do Japanese People Say "I'm Sorry" So Often?— Learning to Say "Thank You" Instead

Thank you for visiting my page.
I'm Yuna.

One thing I've become more aware of since working in English every day is how differently people express gratitude.

In Japan, we say sumimasen ("I'm sorry" or "Excuse me") surprisingly often.

Someone holds the door for us.

Someone carries something heavy for us.

A coworker helps us finish a task.

In many of these situations, our first response isn't "Thank you."

It's "Sumimasen."

Of course, sumimasen is much more than an apology. Depending on the situation, it can express politeness, humility, or appreciation.

But from an international perspective, it can sound a little unusual.

In many English-speaking countries, people are more likely to respond with a simple:

"Thank you."

It's a direct way of saying,

"I appreciate what you did for me."

That difference made me stop and think.

Why do we sometimes apologize when someone has shown us kindness?

Learning to Receive Kindness

Some people find it difficult to ask for help.

Others feel uncomfortable when someone compliments them.

And some instinctively feel they owe something whenever another person is kind.

If that sounds familiar, it may not simply be about language.

It may be about how comfortable we are with receiving kindness.

Healthy relationships aren't built only by giving.

They're also built by allowing ourselves to receive.

One Small Change

So here's a small idea.

The next time someone does something kind for you, try saying "Thank you" before anything else.

Instead of:

"I'm sorry... that was a lot of trouble."

Try:

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

It's only a few words, but they create a different feeling.

Your gratitude becomes clear.

And the other person's kindness is fully received.

Language shapes the way we connect with one another.

Sometimes, changing just one phrase can change the atmosphere between two people.

So today, if someone offers you kindness, try replacing "I'm sorry" with "Thank you."

It might be a small change.

But it can make your relationships a little warmer.

Thank you for reading.💐

Best regards,

Yuna Takahashi