12th September 2023: The last train from Cardiff to London

I'd been to Cardiff in 2022 alone which is the last thing to do for the business trip with partners in the UK. 
I could remember it was in May and the air was frigid, and I shivered against the cold.

***

Before I took the train, they bought me a cup of hot tea. They said it could help me from the cold and you'd be better. I believed them until I knew that it didn't help that much. I still shivered and suffered from it.

***

On the train, I listened to music along the way because I was really tired. I couldn't read any books because I had to take care of myself. It was late at night. I didn't like the moment when I was alone far far away from the place I knew. Finally, I'd arrived at London around 11:30 pm. I thought everything was on my plan but it was a nightmare.

***

I'd arrived at Paddington Station around 11:30 pm. I could remember it was on Sunday. Yes, Sunday night. Everyone was at home now. I could see few of people at the station. It was my first time taking the last tube in London. I was confident that everything's okay until it wasn't. I missed the last tube to my place. At that time, I couldn't call anyone in my country because of the timezone. I decided to take a bus I'd never taken before in my life. It was nearly midnight. The thought of missing the bus and getting lost terrified me. Fortunately, I could communicate with them and if it was the worst case, I would take a taxi instead. When I arrived at my place, I cried a lot and couldn't sleep that night. I went to the airport with panda eyes.

***

I knew that I could make it through but I was just a girl in the big city.
Cardiff was one of the best memories but also one of my worst memories.
If I have an opportunity to get marry and have my own child, I will teach them to rely on themselves on the highest level as I did before.

***

I still can remember it but it's not the same feeling.
From this moment, I have realised that Cardiff is one of the best lessons in my life.
Personally, it's one of the best thing I've ever done in my life.

***

Lately, I've lost myself. 

When it comes to me, I always think of the experience at Cardiff.

Once I've lost myself, I can feel the vulnerability, acceptance, understanding, and even awakening all come easier. I learn a lot about myself when I'm lost. 
When I look back, I’ll reminisce about those experiences and realise that I grew from it.

***

I do believe that it's important to get lost sometimes.
Sometimes the wrong train takes you to the right station.