Beneath the Night Sky, Silence Speaks Volumes (Manuscript)

SHIROBAI - MAMA-SAN | EPISODE 007
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Sleep did not come easy for Hana that night. Even Emi could pick up on her mother's tension. Hana was quieter than usual and her smiles and hugs were fewer and faded quickly. There was also less eye contact. Hana seemed more distant, somehow. Even a child Emi's age who has an intimate relationship with her mother is perfectly capable of sensing the changes.

Emi naturally tried to recede into the background. It was an instinctive act of self preservation. Little Emi almost didn't quite recognise this woman sitting next to her even though she looked and sounded like her mother. The change was enough to stir the first inklings of fear and uncertainty. How should she behave? Would Hana want to hear about the little kitten she met near the slide at school? Emi instinctively chose to be quiet and reflect her mother's own quiet. Hana seemed to be lost among the clouds of thought that she was looking at in the distance.

Finally, it was the silence that snapped Hana back to the present. She suddenly realised that she hadn't heard a word out of the quiet, gentle child next to her. As she gazed silently at the sweet, round face and the small chubby hands that were gently stroking the old, worn out patchwork rabbit, Hana once again felt that huge flood of emotion that quickly surged through her being, filling it with such an intense feeling of love and an almost unstoppable craving to protect the little girl. Yet, nothing of those intense feelings showed on her face - there wasn't even the faintest trace - not even a tiny glow or a thin film of tears to moisten her eyes … Nothing.

Despite her youth, Hana was already well versed at slowing the blood in her veins down to a crawl till she seemed to become someone else - someone that didn't want to feel, and someone who just didn't want anyone to read her mind - not even her own 5 year old daughter.

Emi somehow sensed that her mother was looking at her so she lifted her head and carefully turned to look at Hana. A faint frown appeared on her soft forehead as she tried to search the face she loved so much. The little girl just couldn't know or understand why there now seemed to be a wall of silence between her mother and herself. She only understood that Hana was everything to her small and fragile world and that she could be happy so easily whenever Hana held her close and gently caressed and smiled at her.

Emi’s mother noticed the searching eyes, the confusion that knitted her brows together and it was just enough to make Hana relent her cold resolve. A soft, tender smile slowly drifted onto her lips as she gently reached out to cup Emi's peach like cheek and gently caress it with her thumb.

Little Emi's eyes suddenly lit up with realisation and joy as they met her mother's eyes. Emi couldn't help but blush shyly when she realised her mother still loved her.

Hana gently drew Emi to herself, wrapped her arms around the child and cradled the little girl in her arms.

“I'm sorry Emi … Mummy has many important things to think about … Will you forgive me?” Emi answered by burrowing her face into the crook of her mother's arms and nodded as she tightly clutched and clung to Hana's old flannel pyjamas.

Hana carried Emi over to the futon near the balcony and wrapped the blanket around themselves. She looked up at the small patch of night sky she could see from where they sat and automatically began to rock the girl in her arms.

After a few moments of silence, “Emi?
Do you like going to school?" …

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Author’s Note
This story is dedicated to all single mothers out there. It is a work of fiction set in Osaka, Japan and written with much love and devotion. While the characters and events are fictional, every effort has been made to portray everyday life, work, and society as realistically as possible.
Some occupations, procedures, and institutions may be simplified or adapted for storytelling purposes.

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